You Need to Get Serious About Play- How Randomness Benefits Brains
How being a random weirdo is actually really good for your brain, superglue for your relationships, and how to inspire the people around you to play more without getting drunk or high.
Hi Fwiend 🤓
In today’s article I will share with you
👉🏻 1 fun music video I made with my friends & 1 demo video on why being “random” is wildly beneficial for your brain and your relationships.
👉🏻 3 steps to practicing random playfulness & creating a permission field for your friends to do the same without using drugs.
Let’s get into it :)
I summoned my friends the other day to an EMERGENCY music video making session…
in the river last week. Yes Karl 🙄 it was an emergency… no Karl 🙄 I’m not being overly dramatic… I’ll prove to you why, but first!
Please enjoy slow motion flinging of water & mediocrely executed acrobatics!
(IF YOU ARE VIEWING THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EMAIL YOU WONT BE ABLE TO SEE THE VIDEO. PLEASE OPEN THIS ARTICLE IN THE SUBSTACK APP OR WEB BROWSER)
(Music: Swing- by Sofi Tukker & Mahmut Orhan)
Voila! If you thought that video was random…perf 👌🏼 our goal was to do random things for no good reason. Why?
Because if you’re like me (an adult in an isolated western society) you’re probably spending 95% of your time trying to meet all your own financial, relational, emotional, & spiritual needs that an entire community should be fulfilling, and overheating your brain’s focusing capacity in the process.
You might start your day off FOCUSING on the news, or your to do list, then FOCUSING on getting your children out the door, then FOCUSING on work for 8 hours, then FOCUSING on running errands, or moving the needle on side projects…
The etymology of the word FOCUS has Latin roots in the word “fire” and the phrase “point of convergence” which nods to the analogy of “burning point of the lens”.
Isn’t it fascinating then, that on a somatic level, when you over focus, it literally feels like you are overheating your brain? Or inflaming your body into restlessness? And you unconsciously put your hand to your brain almost as if to cool it down?
So what’s the remedy?
Well the body undeniably loves balance and oscillation. So the state of being that balances out focus is RANDOMNESS.
But randomness is not what wellness gurus or doctors prescribe is it?
They say that in order to relax from stress you need to…
“Try meditation”- well guess what, meditation requires MORE focus
“Try an exercise regimen”- well guess what, exercising demands MORE discipline and focus
Or even worse, “Take ADD medication”- so that you can override your body’s signals to relax and play and superdy duperdy FOCUS!
I’m not saying meditation, or exercise are inherently wrong things to do, but prescribing medicine whether it’s a mindfulness tool or a drug, is all about appropriate dosage, timing, and balancing. I rant (insightfully) more about this here in my article BEGRUDINGLY GRATEFUL —> ACTUALLY GRATEFUL If you want to learn more about this concept.
Anyways, it’s no wonder we can’t get out of cycles of stress and resort to coping mechanisms.
Being random is looked down upon the more of an adult you become. The threshold is around 12 years old.
People don’t think twice about kids singing & dancing, running around on all fours, making weird exuberant noises, or tackling you.
After 12ish years however, if you behave in this way, people begin to wonder if you are mentally ill. (Ironically, I believe that NOT allowing yourself to be random & emotive, is actually what creates mental illness.)
After 12ish years old, you are expected to force your brain into a more productive, focused, and serious manner.
Teens & adults then slowly become terrified of being viewed as unfocused or unproductive. They feel ashamed anytime someone says to them “you’re being weird” or “you’re not making any sense” or “you must be high out of your mind”.
And yet, this suppression of the feminine/creative/random parts of our brains… the parts of us that expands neuroplasticity, liberates us from narrow-minded thinking, invokes emotional catharsis, coaxes us into the present moment, invites relaxation…
…The suppression of it, causes us to actually CRAVE being “out of our minds” in desperate and unconscious ways.
Ever notice how…
We pressure each other to do alcohol & drugs so we don’t have to feel outcasted for wanting to turn off the executive functioning in our prefrontal cortex? When you’re drunk or high, you get a free pass on being random, weird, and playful, because the substance “made” you lose control, not your own volition.
We search for people to fall in love with who give us permission to be random playful kids again. (Just look to every romcom montage of people falling in love & you will find them stuffing ice cream in each others’ faces & throwing each other into the ocean.)
We are addicted to WATCHING playful random entertainment happening on youtube or streaming services, as a bandaid to mask the pain of forgetting how to engage in play ourselves.
So, my friend, that is why I said making a random music video was an emergency for me. Random playfulness is a lifeline in a suffocatingly serious adult world.
Not knowing how to balance out over-productivity has us engaging in sabotaging behavior that robs our sovereignty over our nervous systems, and puts us on dangerous paths of addiction. How serious might you take play if you really understood this correlation?
Dr. Renee Miller (Clinical psychologist) recommends “cognitive shuffling” as a tool to help insomniacs turn off their minds that are too plagued by problem solving and focusing. Because, again, “trying” to sleep, or counting sheep, or meditating, exacerbates the over-focusing problem.
It is a tool to jumpstart RANDOMNESS in your brain, and works by intentionally scrambling your thoughts to inhibit your brain from problem solving, evaluating, planning, etc.
It involves picking a random word before you fall asleep, like GUITAR, and randomly visualizing things that begin with each letter of that word. For example visualizing Guts, Gorillas & Garages for the letter G, then Ukeleles, Underwear, Ugg boots for the letter U etc.
Re-teaching your mind how to be random again through cognitive shuffling helps to mimic our natural sleep cycles.
Ever notice how strange your thoughts & dreams become when you fall asleep? This is because your brain begins to fire actively and randomly as a way to process information from your day. This oscillation in the brain is inherently relaxing because it is balancing.
That means that being random while you’re awake, therefore, is kind of like giving your brain a nap! (Actually taking a nap also, obviously, gives your brain a chance to recalibrate).
So! I am here to give you permission to be your wild weird random self & remind you how to do it without drugs. Your friends will thank you for the permission field you are creating for them to remember their truer nature as well.
1️⃣ Step One- set a timer for 10 minutes and follow your body’s impulses.
Remind yourself there doesn’t need to be a “reason” why you are doing what you are doing. Aim to not make any sense to yourself or anybody around you.
Make weird noises and body movements, turn yourself upside down, play with objects in the room & enjoy the liberated feeling you get from it.
Here is a little demo to inspire you… I let myself be random at work after every 2 hrs of focus to let my brain reset or “nap while it’s awake”.
(IF YOU ARE VIEWING THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EMAIL YOU WONT BE ABLE TO SEE THE VIDEO. PLEASE OPEN THIS ARTICLE IN THE SUBSTACK APP OR WEB BROWSER)
2️⃣ Step Two- Share this article with your friends and then invite them to randomnly play
You have to build a bridge with your adult friends from their brains to their bodies. When we are conditioned as adults to think logically, it’s helpful to give our brains good reasons as to why play is important so we won’t resist trying something new. If you just jump play onto your friends without them expecting it or without an explanation or invitation, chances are they could reject it.
If they need even more evidence, throw in the very sexy and knowledgable neuroscientist Andrew Huberman’s podcast on the importance of play HERE for extra reputability.
Then set up an evening trying different timed randomness games.
For example, 10 minutes of speaking gobbledegook to one another. 15 minutes of following each other round the house but you can’t walk normally, you have to slither on your belly, or crabwalk, or hop on one leg. 15 minutes of randomly throwing together ingredients and cooking something strange and new without following a recipe. You get the idea.
Be sure to welcome awkward laughter, weirdness, and uncertainty. The whole point is to expand your comfort zone and broaden the permission field!
3️⃣ Step Three- If you’re too scared to invite people into random weirdness, then join activities that already have random playfulness built in.
Find an ecstatic dance space or contact improv dance space
Find a vocal or musical improv jam (this is where I found my friends who did the music video with me)
Find a comedy improv jam
Take acting classes
Hang out around toddlers or children and don’t try to have a conversation with them. Instead make faces at them, or talk through their stuffed animals, or have a headstand contest. They will immediately jump in with excitement that an adult speaks their language, play with you for hours, & will love you for eternity
Additionally… being random is a stronger glue for friendships. Friendships are deepened by specialness. The more you are on auto-pilot i.e. talk about the same things or do the same things over and over again, the more people unconsciously disconnect and view you as replaceable.
Unfortunately, the effect of an industrialized society that has built everything to be replaceable and on auto-pilot, is that humans begin to mimic that auto-pilot conformity behavior.
They become less in touch with their true unique nature & sort of make themselves disposable, by becoming so afraid to behave & think differently.
But the more you introduce random playfulness into your relationships the more opportunities you have to create specialness again, which will strengthen that relational glue. Inside jokes will begin to form, as well as unique memories together, diverse thinking and behavior, and appreciation that you and your friends can actually be authentic weirdos together.
Love happens when you can be yourself around someone, doesn’t it? And being yourself means making space for your ANIMAL BODY’S NATURAL CYCLES KARL! OKAY?! 🙄
Got it? Okay good. Now go fly 😘
If you need help expanding your ability to play…
I have a 1:1 three month long somatic transformational coaching program to help you transform ANY area of life that causes you trouble.
It doesn’t matter what area of life it is (health, prosperity, purpose, relationships, etc.) these transformational principles are universal and apply across the board.
You can read about the program details HERE
You can schedule a free 40 min call with me to see if we are a good match for working together HERE
<3
Annika
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